He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
