She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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