Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize