You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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