she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize