i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
