My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
