i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
