Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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