you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She's better-looking with the mask on.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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