she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
