we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
