dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
