My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He did a backflip because drugs
I know her cup size but not her name....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
