well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
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I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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