This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
