giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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