my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
