the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize