i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
