My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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