its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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