Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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