my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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