Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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