If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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