Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
