He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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