There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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