"it" just moved
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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