i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
