Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
