Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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