Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
