lets start a swedish sibling band together
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
