is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize