I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
