Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
