Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
