this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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