I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
