Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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