i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm bleeding and have questions
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
