I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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