My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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