she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
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