went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i believe in u and ur pee
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
