The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
