If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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