Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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