At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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