I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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