Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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