Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
