i just snorted my name. best moment ever
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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