I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
