I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
