I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize