can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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