what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to