I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize