Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.

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  (310): If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels. http://tfl.nu/zmdk
  Replies (10) Good night (892) Bad night (1388) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.

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  (765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away. http://tfl.nu/4aee
  Replies (25) Good night (1530) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...

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  (918): Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic... http://tfl.nu/yey5
  Replies (88) Good night (9990) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

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  (217): he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper http://tfl.nu/swmc
  Replies (55) Good night (11979) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher

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  (612): the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher http://tfl.nu/eecw
  Replies (26) Good night (909) Bad night (5077) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

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  (512): She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not." http://tfl.nu/pkrm
  Replies (18) Good night (6128) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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  (774): According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/1yfv
  Replies (16) Good night (2761) Bad night (2616) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will

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  (321): okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will http://tfl.nu/hfgh
  Replies (6) Good night (2003) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.

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  (780): She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile. http://tfl.nu/gnnf
  Replies (12) Good night (6087) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.

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  (604): Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not. http://tfl.nu/n7ii
  Replies (12) Good night (2992) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."

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  (423): He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.." http://tfl.nu/dapq
  Replies (10) Good night (2408) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".

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  (416): Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked". http://tfl.nu/jucw
  Replies (4) Good night (1890) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1361) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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  (616): Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds http://tfl.nu/472x
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship

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  (508): I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship http://tfl.nu/b7qc
  Replies (4) Good night (621) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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