i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.